I have tried for the most part to steer clear of political issues, but this is just a great rant:
I have tried for the most part to steer clear of political issues, but this is just a great rant:
According to a survey of 500 men and women in relationships only about 1 in 6 cuddle sessions, or seshes as the kids are calling them (no one’s calling them that), end up in sex. The average sesh is about 47 minutes long and what’s worse is that it’s more likely to stimulate conversation than copulation. Cuddling stimulates feelings of intimacy and relaxation amongst the couples surveyed which to me are both pretty sexy. But what do I know, right Science? Personally, I’m a huge fan of the post-sex cuddle. It’s the best of both worlds. But yeah, dudes, if you think that cuddling is going to automatically grant you access to your partners nethers, think again. In fact, if you cuddle with your partner, you might end up talking to them. Heaven forbid!
Most people have heard of lesbian women having penetrative sex with the aid of a strap-on. For the uninitiated, a strap-on is a harness that one (typically one with a vagina) wears, like underwear, in which a dildo is held roughly where a penis would be. This allows people who don’t have penises to penetrate their partners as though they did. But this particular post has nothing to do with women fucking women. This post is all about women fucking men. Yes you read that right, we are talking about what Dan Savage’s followers have affectionately termed Pegging.
Pegging, if you haven’t figured it out yet, is when a woman wears a strap-on to penetrate her male partner’s anus. This act was perhaps most famously depicted in the delightful Canadian cinematic gem Young People Fucking. Pegging is a great way to play with power dynamics and gender roles which are often both very static in heterosexual sex. It is also a fun way to take the ass play you’re already engaged in to a new level. As with any and all ass play, the usual rules around hygiene, cleanliness and lubrication apply.
My best friend recently told me that he and his (now ex-)girlfriend had discovered their love of pegging in the last six months of their relationship and he agreed to talk with me about his personal experience.
I didn’t know it was called pegging until I started telling people I knew that I was doing it…I saw Young People Fucking with you and your wife and thought to myself “I want that.”
My friend has been enjoying ass play with most of his sexual partners for as long as he can remember. He has never had a hard time bringing it up with them and for the most part all of his partners have been enthusiastic participants. This isn’t always the case and some men who want to explore ass play aren’t sure how to bring it up with their partners. When I asked him how being penetrated with a strap on came about in his last relationship he told me that it started as dirty talk and then talk turned into action.
It was always like, we’d be having sex and I’d constantly be in the midst of it saying, “I wish you were fucking me in the ass with a strap on.” My dirty talk was “I wish you were fucking me with a strap on” and then her dirty talk became “I wish I was fucking you too!” So the two of us went together to get the strap on that I still own.
One of his favorite aspects of being pegged is the orgasms.
The thing that I really like about orgasming without having my genitals touched is that it’s completely done to me, I didn’t have to do anything.
Men can have their prostate stimulated via anal penetration, sometimes this is enough to cause orgasm alone, without any physical stimulation of the penis at all. This got us to talking about how being a bottom, or the person who is having the sex act done to, is not a role that men often take on in heterosexual sex. This isn’t an aspect of sexuality that many straight identified men will ever experience.
It makes me feel more masculine because there’s an idea surrounded by it that it’s a feminine thing. I’m not playing by a specific gender role, I’m playing really far against what the gender role of what a man is which makes me feel so much more masculine. Maybe empowered is a better word for it. Liberated, empowered, self expressed, I feel all those things while I’m being pegged. I feel a lot more grounded and I’d even throw the word tough in there. I feel tougher because like, I’m truly being who I am sexually, try fucking with that! [laughs]
I think that so many straight dudes get lost sexually and cant quite find where they’re going which is why you see so many dudes who can’t really fuck without being high or drunk.
If I didn’t know I liked pegging I wouldn’t feel comfortable with myself sexually, it’s pretty fucking huge for me. I feel more sexually ok, I feel sexually grounded and I feel more excited about the sex that I’m going to have in the future.
There are countless stories of people who, once they discover their kinks, don’t know how they ever lived without them. Sometimes, really exploring your sexuality and experimenting with new things can be truly life changing and even relationship strengthening. Pegging isn’t for everyone but my friend would have never realized how important to him it was if he had never tried it…just sayin.
ABC staged, with hidden cameras, a little boy and his “Mom,” both actors, going into a costume store before Halloween. The boy declares loud and proud that he wants to be Belle, much to the chagrin of his “Mother.” Some of the other shoppers can’t help but chime in with their lovely opinions. Swap boy actor out for a girl actor who wants to be spider man, lather, rinse, repeat.
Now, I’m not particularly into the deceptive and manipulative game that ABC are playing but it’s pretty eye opening to see how willing these people are to express their bigotry just because they believe they are in the presence of likeminded company. Children are conditioned to fit into the roles of the particular gender they were diagnosed with at birth. So seldom, if ever, do we wait to find out the child’s opinion on the matter. I wonder what a difference it might make if our society treated children as gender neutral until they were able to tell us themselves how they wanted to identify.
Think of the children!!! My God, why won’t anyone think of the children!!! – Helen Lovejoy
According to a recent poll conducted by Spotify, as many as 40% of respondents rated sexy music more of a turn on than even being touched! I have to admit that few things turn me on the same way that D’Angelo’s Voodoo album does but more than being touched? I’m not sure I fit into that 40%. That being said, mood can often be the diference between mediocre and mind-blowing sex and nothing sets the mood quite as quickly as the right music. Check out some of their other findings in this delightful infographic (have I mentioned my love of infographics?).
In this year’s American federal election a referendum will be held in LA in which voters will decide wether or not male porn actors should be legally required to wear condoms during all porn shoots. This little bit of legislature is being referred to as Measure B.
There are arguments to be made on both sides but in the end the voters will decide wether or not you will be watching porn with a new little (or not so little) addition. The porn studios and actors are up in arms about this because they believe that wearing condoms will in some way take away from the experience of their audience. Medical and legal professionals are clearly pro-condom because of the perceived and real medical hazards that all that unprotected porn sex bring about.
The porn industry is making a big push to convince voters not to vote in favor of Measure B but the real vote will occur in the months and years after the election should the measure go through. Should male porn actors be required to wear condoms, would people stop watching porn? Would the watch porn produced in places where condoms are not mandatory? Would they even care? I mean condoms have been a mainstay in gay porn for years with no reduction in viewership that can be attributed to them. So dearest readers I ask you to weigh in.
Would you change your porn watching habits if all of a sudden all the men in the porn you watched were wearing rubbers?
Read and post, read and post:
This one isn’t recent but I just read it for the first time and it’s worth a read, Men and the sexualization of young girls – The Good Men Project
Redefining Sex Work in the San Fransico Bay area – East Bay Express
Thinking critically about medicalization, media and sex – Petra Boynton Phd.
My favorite read of the week is Lesbians No Longer: A Transgender Trip Into Heteronormality – Vice
10 Responses to the Phrase “Man Up”
The internet famous (but not in any way actually famous) Vlogbrothers explain sex, gender, sexual orientation, sexual and gender spectrums and everything in between in an extremly succinct and well explained video with helpful infographics. I love infographics.
This is one of the best videos on this topic that I’ve seen. Watch it, learn it, share it. If you can wrap your head around then you’re doing the whole human race a great service in bringing us closer to the age of acceptance. Perhaps we’ll design a fantasy sex video game called The Age of Acceptance. Perhaps not. Enjoy.
According to a study out today, boys are hitting puberty as early as 9.5 years old. Until now the benchmark age of boys to hit puberty was about 11.5 years. Early signs of puberty, such as the lowering of the testicles was seen on average at just over 9 for the African American participants and just over 10 for the Caucasian and Hispanic ones.
The authors of the study did not try to explain why it appears that boys might be entering puberty at an earlier age but they suggested diet, lack of physical activity and other environmental factors may all be contributing factors.
It is not certain however that the change is as drastic as it may seem.
The study, widely considered the most reliable attempt to measure puberty in American boys…But experts cautioned that because previous studies were smaller or used different approaches, it is difficult to say how much earlier boys might be developing.
Either way, this study has collected a lot of useful data about adolescent boys that will be used and referred to extensively in the future.